Brain Cheese Buffet by Edward Lee

Author:Edward Lee
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Published: 2011-05-02T21:00:00+00:00

Precocious, Smith thought. The drum, he saw now, had no writing on it just the bright-scarlet stripes, which made sense. If you 're going to dump hazardous waste illegally, you don ? leave your name and address. And he was sure now that's what it was. The drum sat on its side as if dropped. At once Smith noticed a meaty scent...

Like rotten pork he thought. His nostrils cringed. Or like that cadaver the county cops brought in last summer. It had ripened in the heat for days, hidden beneath humid hay bales. Cooking.

The drum's rim appeared crimped, offering a small egress. Smith poked the branch into it and pushed. "Aw, shit!" he exclaimed and leapt back. The lid popped off, emptying a gush of black, lumpy sludge into the ravine's craw. Smith could've vomited. The stuff stank worse than a fish market dumpster in high summer.

He gaped at it a moment, his handkerchief to his face. The sludge looked coagulated like gravy that hadn't evened. Large bubbles rose from the surface of the spill, percolating, and the stench thickened. Thank God the creek had long-since dried up, otherwise the stream would be hauling this gunk away right now. Smith felt momentarily weird staring at the crisp, popping bubbles. His sweat rushed—the mass of ichor seemed to waft shifts of heat.

"Come on." Smith huffed back up the hillock and led Jeannie away from the ravine. He took long strides, yanking her by the hand. Boy, this pisses me off, he fumed. I've got a kid for Gods sake. Some chemical company asshole dumps this crap near kids? Yeah, what a world.

"I saw a falling star, Daddy," Jeannie remarked as they headed back to Smith's cedar-shingled Colonial, It cost 150k, in a nice culdesac. Smith worked hard for it, and for everything to keep his family comfortable, and then some thoughtless creep pulls a stunt like this. Word gets around and the whole community could go lo hell. Smith envisioned the headlines. TOXIC WASTE DUMPED IN STORYBOOK TOWN. PROPERTY

VALUES PLUMMET. Assholes, he thought "What did you say, honey?"

"But it wasn't really a star," she enlivened on. "It was that drum. I saw it last night."

"You saw Star Trek last night is what you saw, miss." Kids, Smith thought. Then they were back at the house, back to normality. "Dinner's ready," he said. "Don't forget to wash your hands."

He'd reported the incident to the police anonymously; he didn't need a slew of questions.

With my luck they ’ll think I had something to do with it. Smith reasoned that whoever had dumped the sludge had brought it down the old logging road on the other side of the treebelt and that's what the authorities would conclude.

That night he slept fitfully, dragged in and out of chasms of dreams. He never had bad dreams; his job had cauterized him since med school. Smith was the county coroner, and after so many years of autopsying human grotesqueries atop his Aimsworth pitch-tilt powerdrain morgue table, he could eat a tuna on rye with one hand and fish through gunshot intestinal vaults with the other.

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